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Dating a man who has a son

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My husband, Tim’s father, died three years ago, and I think Tim is looking for a father figure. What could a 40-year-old man have in common with a teenager? Should I keep quiet and pray it ends soon or speak up?

Tim starts college this fall, and I am hoping he’ll find a more appropriate boyfriend there. — Name withheld I completely understand your angst about this — who would want her son in the arms of a “predator”?

Many agreed with you and found your son’s relationship objectionable.

One gay man spoke for many when he posted: “I find middle-aged men who date teens of either gender to be emotionally stunted and chock-full of control issues.” Others volunteered their personal stories, often with happy endings.

It’s fine to explain that you don’t understand the relationship and even that it worries you. With your husband (and Tim’s father) gone only three years, I can only imagine you’re both still grieving.Use this new situation as a way to deepen your relationship with your son.In that vein, why not invite the couple over and get to know Justin yourself? Every other week, Steven Petrow, the author of “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners,” addresses questions about LGBT and straight etiquette in his new column, Civilities.A floppy relationship triangle exists when the man in question is at the apex of that triangle and the two women are represented by the other two points.Each woman is connected to the man but they are not usually connected to each other. The gamut can run from two women who have known one another in the past, even possibly friends, to total strangers who are now connected to each other only by being attached in some way to the same man.Still, before you label Justin this way, I’d ask you to consider a few “May/December” opposite-sex couples.